school – Mother of Two

For some time now I have debated about going back to school. My husband and I have had many talks about it, but in the end I have always decided not to go back. Primarily because I was…am….too afraid of missing something with my kids. Even so, there has been this gnawing ache in me to go back. Quite frankly I have wanted to go back since I graduated. Now twelve years later nothing has changed except that I am older.

I look at my sister-in-law and my cousin who are both young mothers and are in school. They amaze me how they juggle it and make it work. The funny thing is I think no matter what, if you really want something, you make it work, and you find the time. I know it isn’t going to be easy. I am not going to be able to snap my fingers and poof have more time, but I do think if it is important to make it happen. I know that there have been times I missed things with my kids. I didn’t get to see Liam give his first love in preschool the handmade card he made for her (but I did sit with him the night before while he made it). I did not get to see Ava at her dress rehearsal for her recital last year (but I took her to every class, picture, and was there for the day of the recital). I will always have time for the extra hug before I run out the door in the morning. I will always be late to work to miss my kid’s holiday performance at school. In the end the important thing is that I am always there for them. Every night my husband and I end the night with our kids saying how much we love them and no matter what we will always love them.

I know I can give myself the easy out on why not to go back to school and it would it be a valid excuse. But here in lies the problem. I want my kids to see their mom as a happy, fulfilled, ambitious, hardworking mom. It took me a long time career wise to be in a place that I can say I am happy. And while everyone’s definition is different on what fulfills them and drives them, for me it’s going to back to school. So this momma in the next year besides writing in her blog, selling her Avon, going to work, and soaking up every moment with my kids and husband, will also be studying for the GRE’s. No more excuses. It’s time to hit the books.

So what I am about to say I think is going to anger some of you, but as my kids get older, if appropriate I might say to them, “It’s ok, you don’t have to go to college.”

I want my kids when they become adults to be happy, successful, and do something they enjoy. With that being said, college might not be the answer. As I have mentioned many times in the past I value education. However, I do realize not everyone fits in the same box or mold. Some career choices a four year degree would not be helpful. For instance, to become a beautician a BS or BA degree would not be beneficial.

Then there is the other side of it. In today’s high pressure for children to succeed we have forgotten one important thing, not all kids are built for college. In recent years we have begun to put unrealistic expectations on our children. Not only does not every profession require a college education, but not every child is built for it. Today’s standard for education is quite frankly unattainable for some. In some ways I feel as though we are setting up our children to fail. To make every child feel like he must go to college when maybe that is an unrealistic road for him to take is not right. I think it’s very important to push our kids to try hard, however we have lost sight on the fact that not all kid’s definition of success means college. In doing this, we have set our children up for failure and disappointment instead of finding an appropriate avenue for them that they can achieve at. Furthermore, we have created a feeling that may reside in our children if they do not go to college it is shameful

I read an article recently that said the freshman college dropout/flunk out rate in the last 10 years has gone up 30%. Part of it I believe has to do with social promotion (which is a discussion for another day) but the other part has to do with the fact that nowadays it’s assumed that everyone goes to college whether equipped for it or not. As parents I think part of our job is to help our kids focus on an attainable goal for them. Just as not every kid likes the color red, or likes chocolate cake, not every kid is meant to be a doctor. That in part is what makes the world go around. Our differences are how we learn new things and develop new ideas. If we were all meant to do the same thing then not only would this world be a very boring place but there would be no individual. We need to embrace these differences and help our children achieve what is best for them.

Mother of Two

Tag: school

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