Hypocrite

Hypocrite.  That is what I am.  A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.  After a morning of being yelled at, being told I am a mean mommy, cried at, and threatened to be hit, I yelled at both of my kids for yelling.  Well if that is not the anti-message, I do not know what is.

Sure I could make a lot of excuses of why I am burnt out and they are all valid ones, but what kiParenting -hypocritend of message am I sending to my children to not yell, as I yell at them for yelling?  Granted they both looked stunned at me and quieted down, but I feel really ashamed of myself.  They are both in their rooms sleeping or quietly quaking and I feel horrible.

Liam and Ava recently have been having a hard time listening and many times I feel like they are not made to do so.  It is true that the path of least resistance works, but it cannot be done for every occasion.  In the last 24 hours I have repeated myself giving the same instructions over and over again.  Granted that partly comes with the territory of little children behavior, but it has gone too far as evidence of my own temper tantrum with the children.  Why is it that my yelling got exactly what I wanted, but now I feel horrible?

Sometimes I feel like I am really failing at this parent job.  I question my ability, my strength, and my effectiveness.  I am sure all parents have those moments and I am not the only one to feel this way, however I am worn out.  I just wish there could be one day, just one day with no battles, no arguing, and no negotiating, just “Yes mommy”.

Its 12:15 right now and the kids will probably get up in an hour from nap.  I would like to erase this whole morning, however I cannot.  I need to reset and so do they.  Together we will figure this out.  If nothing else maybe instead of my next entry being entitled “Hypocrite”, it will be “The Art of Patience.”  Now that is something worth writing about.

It’s the Little Things That Count

On a daily basis, multiple times a day, I hear Liam say, “Mommy (or Daddy) can I tell you something?”  Our answer is always yes.  Sometimes he tImageells us he is hungry, other times it’s to ask if he can watch a show, and other times it’s to tell us a story.  Regardless we always listen.  Here’s the thing, if our kids know we are listening now they can trust us eventually when they get older and the issues turn from watching Thomas to being tempted to try to smoke.  The things they tell us now may seem small but it isn’t to them and they need to know we care.  I always encourage Liam to talk to me not just because I like to know what he is thinking but because if he gets comfortable doing it now there is a greater chance he will come to me later on when the big issues are happening.

All too often I see parents on their cell phones while with they’re completely ignoring them.  My husband is always saying, “You are missing it.”  You are missing those moments that you can never get back.  Ten years from now it will not matter what level of Candy Crush you got to or who said what on Facebook but it will matter what your kids are thinking and saying.  In today’s technology filled society we all do it.  We all check our emails, update our Facebook statuses, etc. but if you can put down your phone for a minute and see what your kids are up to, you might just learn something.

It’s like creating the foundation and the framework of a house.  If you create a solid foundation and a strong framework, the house will be able to weather the storm.  So often in our busy days listening gets brushed aside, but trust me give them the time.  Not only will you find out entertaining and fascinating things about your kids now, but you are doing the homework for the final exam later on.