Giving Thanks Even When It’s Hard To

Do you remember when you went school Sunday nights you would get that pit in your stomach?  Another week is about to start.  There is no running, there is no hiding, I am going to have to go to school.  That’s exactly how I feel about going to work this week.

Work has been especially tumultuous lately for me.  My son’s temper tantrums and my daughter’s marathon crying episodes pale in comparison to the knot forming, anxiety ridden, stress inducing day I am looking forward to tomorrow.  Another person quit on Friday and with her leaving not only do I lose a co-worker, a friend, but my commiserating ally.  It’s hard not feel like lone woman on an island.

I am so glad that this week is a short week.  I get out early on Wednesday and then I have a four day weekend to look forward to.  I am really excited about that and I am trying to concentrate on the date night on Wednesday with my husband, Thursday good eats at my in-laws, and then Christmas decorating on Friday.

I guess in the long run I should be very thankful.  As hard as my work days have been lately, at least I have a place to go to work to.  Sometimes its very easy to lose sight of those things when you are in the midst of hard time or a pity party.  This week I am going to try my hardest not to concentrate on what’s so wrong in my world right now but what is so right in my world right now.  To my husband, children, family, friends, and even work, thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Tell It How It Is

There is no mincing words with a toddler.  They say what the mean and they mean what the say.  It’s as adults we become more illusive with our message and have a difficult time being direct.  For my supervisor its even a more difficult thing.

I used to analyze and go over and over in my head what went wrong every time I had a conversation with her.  I would think maybe it’s my body language, what I said, how I said it, and now eight years later I have come up with only one explanation she is a bad communicator.

As adults we often sugar coat topics to make discussions more bearable to handle.  So different from a two year old.  There is no questioning my son’s body language, tone, and message.  It is, “I am mad and you are about to pay for it.”  My supervisor I often feel comes across in a similar way but shockingly I think she is unaware of it.  Unlike my son who is acutely aware of his behavior and what he is trying to express, my boss seems clueless on how she comes off and becomes offended when you become defensive when her demeanor is putting off a very hostile attitude.  It becomes even more difficult because she sometimes gets so worked up she doesn’t even let you finish explaining before the rapid fire questioning begins and if you dare to question her approach she becomes very stern and stubborn; very much like my son right before I at times have to put him in time out.  However there is no timeouts for bosses and what is even more upsetting is that unlike my son who is young and has much to learn about getting along with people and communicating, she is middle aged.  She is not going to change, there is no chance of growth or adapting.  So then it comes to an acceptance on my part.  Just as I accept that Liam might have a temper tantrum or that there might be a timeout today, I must accept that I will never be able to be at ease speaking with my supervisor.  It will never be comfortable and it will always leave me feeling frustrated.  Maybe that is where I can take a lesson from Liam.  Just as he walks out of his timeout and starts fresh all over again maybe I can try to do the same thing with my supervisor after our next “talk”.  If not, at least maybe I can put myself in a temporary timeout.