Sigh
“Mommy what’s wrong?”
“Nothing sweetie. Why?”
“I heard you go like this (heavy breath)”
“Oh, mommy was just frustrated on what she was hearing on the radio.”
“What? What happened?”
Ugh, how do I explain this to him.
“Remember how you learned in school about Dr. King and all the things that he did? What do you remember from that?”
“He was a man who said he we are all the same in the inside even if we looked different on the outside.”
“Right. What does the mean to you?”
“That you should be friends with everyone and be nice no matter what a person looks like.”
“Right. Well besides the color of a person’s skin there are a lot of things that makes people different. Some people speak different languages. You know how you are learning Spanish and sign language in school, some people speak that way all the time. There are different religions. You know how we go to church and learn about God and Jesus.”
“Yes! Jesus just had his birthday at Christmas.”
“Right. Some people believe different things. Mommy’s best friend growing up was from Pakistan and she practiced a religion called Islam.”
“What makes her religion different?”
“Well actually there are a lot of similarities, but I guess one of the biggest differences is we believe Jesus was the son of God, whereas she believed he was not.”
“Ok”
“Am I confusing you?”
“Kind of. What does it matter if they are different?”
“Well that’s the point it doesn’t matter if we are different. People in our country speak different languages, practice different religions, and are from different places in the world. However, there is one thing that can make people different that our country does not accept.”
“What’s that?”
“Umm, ok if I confuse you please stop me. You know how mommy and daddy are married?”
“Yes”
“Well I didn’t always know daddy. I didn’t meet him until I was 19 years old, but we became friends, we fell in love, and eventually got married. However, I have always known grandma and grandpa and I have always loved them very much, but it’s a different kind of love, but it is love just the same. “
“Ok”
“Well there are people who say that some kinds of love are wrong and should not be permitted.”
“But if it’s love, how can that be wrong?”
“Liam, from your lips to God’s ears.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind it’s a saying. But you are right Liam and that is why mommy sighed. She is sad that our country is trying to tell some people that their love is wrong?”
“And then they couldn’t get married!?!?! Mommy I love weddings.”
“I know you do. I want you to remember something, just because you don’t agree with something, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Just because it might not be in your beliefs it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t be allowed to do it. Growing up sometimes mommy would have what I like to call healthy debates with grandma and grandpa. Sometimes I learned something and it made me think about it in a different way, but sometimes I just didn’t agree with them. Do you know what grandma and grandpa did?”
“No what?”
“Nothing. They never told me I was wrong. They never told me to change my mind. I never got in trouble for it. They let me form my own opinion. Sometimes we agreed, sometimes we didn’t. I want you to remember that too. You are allowed to think and believe whatever you like as long as you are not hurting anyone else. Capeesh?”
“Capeesh. Mommy?”
“Yes Liam.”
“Can you put on “Uptown Girl?”
“Yes Liam.”
I held Liam’s hand as we entered the ladies bathroom and there was a line. He was excited I had just bought him a balloon shaped like Spiderman so he was completely engaged with that. I heard a woman say, “Oh you are one of those,” but I didn’t really pay much attention at the time as I didn’t think it was directed to me. A stall emptied and I brought Liam in. At home we had instilled a privacy rule as Liam and Ava had been notorious for busting in on anyone who was in the bathroom. Liam closed his eyes without me saying a word (to be quite honest I hadn’t given it much thought), and he said, “Mommy I am giving you privacy.” I smiled and thought how considerate that was. I quickly went and then we left the stall. I directed Liam over to the sinks to wash my hands and that’s when it happened.
I could not believe what I was hearing. For a moment I was completely shocked, but I had to shake myself out of that as we were driving down the road. I was in awe on how insightful and thoughtful and empathetic Liam had been. Even now as I type this out it astonishes me how forgiving and loving he was. It’s unbelievable how sometimes the littlest actions, the simplest words can have the most profound impact. Liam in that split second reminded me on how as wonderful and great, grand gestures are sometimes, it’s the purest, smallest moments that can have the lasting effect.
Like any good parent I have doubted myself in my methods, read numerous articles regarding whatever particular topic we were trying to hurdle, and surveyed other parents to get feedback on what they did. I asked my pediatrician and read books on parenting. No it was definitely not luck, it took a lot of studying and research.
Mother of Two 