I was talking to a mother the other day about bedtimes and how my kids go to bed without a fuss. She said to me, “You are so lucky.” Later on that day I started to think about our conversation and how “lucky” I was. That is when I came to the conclusion, I’m not lucky. It was not by some random stroke of luck that this occurs. I didn’t pick some numbers and win the lottery. As I have written in the past one of the things my husband and I decided early on was that we would dictate bedtimes, schedules, etc., not the children. It is not by luck at all that my kids go to bed without a fight.
In any schedule, rule, or manner, that we wanted our children to maintain it took a lot of patience, time, and sometimes tears to accomplish it. It was hard at times and my husband and I sometimes would have to take turns to give the other person a break. There were moments when one of us was on the brink of giving in. I questioned myself and fought internally debating whether we were doing the right thing. No there was no luck about it, it was work.
Like any good parent I have doubted myself in my methods, read numerous articles regarding whatever particular topic we were trying to hurdle, and surveyed other parents to get feedback on what they did. I asked my pediatrician and read books on parenting. No it was definitely not luck, it took a lot of studying and research.
I admit there were times that we headed down a path and realized it was not working. We were not getting the results we wanted. The kids were not responding in the way we thought they would. We had to go back to square one, decide what we needed to tweak or change altogether, and start all over again. I made my mistakes and I will continue to make them, but as the bumps come up we will iron them out. No it was not luck, it was perseverance.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that it was not by some small miracle that my kids are acting in a way that you admire. And believe me they do act up. They are not perfect, my husband and I are not perfect, but it was not by luck they behave they way they do good and bad. It was work and I am so proud of it.