I had written on my personal Facebook page a while ago about an interaction I had one time with a mother in the waiting room of the pediatrician. It all boiled down to the fact that I mentioned that my husband and I have no problem putting our kids down to bed at night. When she asked how we did it. I explained that we play by the 5 minute rule in our house which means when we put our kids downs for bed at night we let them cry for 5 minutes before we go in and check on them. If they continue to cry we soothe them and then put them back down and repeat this method until success. The mother’s reply to me was, “As a mother I could never do that because I love my children.”
It infuriated me because (1) she asked me and then judged me and (2) her remark implied that I don’t love my children. I replied back to her “As a mother I taught my children their first lesson in independence.”
Now this next paragraph might come across as bragging but I am not. I am just merely trying to make a point. Liam is 3 and Ava is 18 months and bedtime is never an issue. They go down with such ease and there is no crying, no fighting, no tantrums. I really think it has a lot to do with the fact that we never let the kids dictate the guidelines of bedtime, we did and we stood strong to them. We read to them every night and we tuck them in and kiss them good night but when the light is out they stay in bed and there is no fuss.
The truth of the matter is there a lot of theories out there in regards to putting children to sleep (co-sleeping, self-soothing, etc) and we all find one that is comfortable to us. I could never do the co-sleeping situation for me because it just seems like it creates a lot of bad habits you sooner or later have to end. I also enjoy having the quiet alone time in bed to read or snuggle with my husband and I don’t see that being a possibility with two children in between us. With that said I don’t think people who do co-sleep are bad parents, don’t love their children, etc. I guess my point is this (1) don’t ask for advice if you aren’t truly willing to hear it (you don’t have to agree but you don’t have to condemn either) and (2) we are all doing our best in this crazy parent world so let’s take the judgment down a notch.