Compensenation

I am writing this as I anxiously await my annual review tomorrow at work.  This is where we will go over my goals for the next year, what I am excelling in, what I may need to work better at and then finally discuss a raise if one at all.  This year, it has been exceptionally difficult for me to feel fulfilled, satisfied, and appreciated at work.  I unfortunately feel a little jaded and half expect to be really disappointed.

That’s the one huge contrast about being at home.  I know what my compensation will be everyday.  It does not come in a monetary unit but with sticky hands and “I love yous”.  There is no extra pay for overtime (4:30 AM wake up call) or hazard pay (third tantrum of the day and its 10:00 AM) however it is predictable and unwavering.

I do like working.  It gets me out of the house and around adults however I don’t like the games.  At least when I play games with my kids it’s straightforward and there is no hidden agenda. You hide, I will seek.  At work it isn’t always that clear.  Between a power hungry HR and a supervisor who at times acts very inappropriate, every word and action is scrutinized.

My annual reviews and raise at home don’t go unnoticed to me.  I appreciate every moment and milestone my children make and know that I had something to do with that.  However, I like getting my paycheck and I do enjoy spending it (even if most of the times its on Thomas Trains and Plum Organics).  Compensation is a tricky word that makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable about.  For me I think it is general sign of gratitude and respect.  I get that from my kids and let’s see what work has to say.

 

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